PUA Life

Seduction Tutor

Saturday, November 18, 2006

What Women Want - Your Approval

When Women Look to You for Approval, They Look to You for Sex

Don't Give Her Approval With Compliments

Compliments are very powerful tools if used wisely, but used wrongly and very quickly your game plan falls apart because the woman you're trying so hard to "get in good with" has suddenly started to dread you.

Yep, that's right, she's started to dread you. There is nothing worse than going over the top and giving a woman too many obvious compliments. This is especially true the more intelligent, successful, and beautiful a woman gets. As one very attractive, intelligent female friend of mine put it the over-the-top, obvious compliment, "is like nails on a chalkboard."

Ug. Not what you were going for, right? Okay, so let's step back a moment; and stop you before you go wrong again in the future. Cause we've all done it, we've all been so overwhelmed by a woman's hotness that the most obvious, stupidly juvenile, worst-pick-up-line-you-can-imagine sort of compliments came spewing out of us as if we had no brain at all and were one large blob of testosterone.

Are we full of testosterone? Yes, but use that excuse and you'll keep ending up alone on your couch. If you want to get anywhere with women you have to use the larger of your two heads.

It's confusing, I know, because we hear so often that even very beautiful women have poor self-esteem. And it's true; I've seen it with my own eyes. Gorgeous women constantly picking themselves apart, feeling they never quite live up to the standard of perfection in their head - or more truthfully - in the media.

But you, my good man, are not the media, or not likely (and no, writing for some type of gaming magazine doesn't cut it). So unless you happen to be Brad Pitt's double, or are actually that very rare beast of a straight fashion photographer (I said fashion, not a wanna be "glamour" photographer who's conned a few women into posing almost nude for his myspace page) than in a woman's mind you're not an expert - not yet.

How you get to be an expert in her mind is to compliment her on the things she's secretly proud of but doesn't get complimented on enough. You win your way in by paying attention.

Let's face it, most compliments we give to women are about us, and our desire, not about the woman we're complimenting. We notice her legs, ass, breasts, hair, eyes etc. thrill us and we just have to pipe up and share. Trust me, she's not fooled for a minute. The hotter the woman the more she's used to men throwing their desire at her.

But if you take the time to actually notice her, and observe her life, she'll very quickly tell you what's going on with her, what she's proud of, what's overwhelming her Etc. Etc. Remember, women love to talk and share their feelings as a way of emotionally bonding with someone. If you can keep your lust from spilling out of your mouth for long enough she'll tell you exactly where she'd like to be noticed that no one else straight and male is.

And that's where you lob the compliment. Of course you're not going to be obvious about it, you're not going to rush in while she's complaining and say, "but you're a fabulous ____ (insert her occupation here). No, you're going to be suave and subtle. And above all you're going to give the compliment with no strings attached.

The absolutely worst way to give a woman a compliment is to expect something back from it. A compliment with an emotional (please love me back), or sexual (please sleep with me), attachment isn't a compliment, it's verbal desperation, and desperation of any kind does nothing but repel sane women.

So if you can't give a compliment without adding your yearning to it, don't give it. Wait until you've pulled yourself together and can give the compliment with no expectations.

Then watch, listen and learn what a woman really wants to be complimented before you casually toss one at her. A well observed but rare compliment is far more powerful than an obvious one - in her mind it means you've really seen her, not just her image. Hone these skills and women will be looking forward to what you've got to say about them, not dreading it.

When women look to you for approval, they're only two drinks away from looking to you for sex.

Because that's what they really want.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Seducing girls - a complete guide

Improve appearance on day to day basis. Get organized - written goals/plans. Focus on these 3 areas:

  • Gym & nutrition. Girls seem to value strong/raw physique much more than genetic good looks. This alone will transform seduction from a difficult mountain climb to a walk in the park. Girls will be much more cooperative early on. It is an absolute must.
  • Dress with distinct style. Take it to the extreme in clubs/disco. Groom adequately. If odor/rash problem, try 5% vinegar instead of soap.
  • Improve vibe/body language habits (see app. A)

Go to coffee shop/mall/pub/bar/club at least twice a week. On your way there, first focus on total relaxing - shut down all other thoughts (especially thoughts about girls). Then consider the incredible coincidence that put you into existence. Think about how lucky you are and how great life is compared to not existing. Really feel the gratitude for being alive, and put a big smile on your face. Continue focusing on this and other things you appreciate (see app. B).

When you arrive, all happy and relaxed, your first mission is to find something inside this environment that you appreciate. Then, turn immediately to the nearest girl and tell her. Say something like "I love this song!" or "Wow.. this couch is so soft.. and I love this texture!" (rub the material slowly). If you see a nice girl, tell her immediately (no delay) . Say something like "You look happy!" or "Aww.. you are so cute!" or "Nice hair! Is it real?" or "That shirt looks good on you!"...

Do not try to observe her reaction. Just continue smiling and commenting on things. Sit/stand with your side towards her. Keep everything light and relaxed. No need to talk non stop. Mix in some teasing and humor (see app. C for inspiration).

When she starts asking about you, say "Guess". Then dodge with joke answers (see list). Then break yourself off in middle of telling. Then try obviously to change the subject. Girls find this little game of secrecy very exciting.

When she starts smiling a lot, tell her she smells good. Stroke her lightly. Talk less. Sit closer.

The end.

Appendix A - Vibe/BL

Attractive body language (BL) habits:

  • Posture (straight as if pulled up by the back of head)
  • Relaxed (eye lids, face, neck&shoulders, breathing etc)
  • Spread out (occupying much space)
  • Grace (move deliberately and slightly slowed - a bit like tai chi)
  • Distant (as if surroundings are not very important - see BL note in app. B)

The 3 main seductive vibes:

Alpha Male - extra slow, arching neck, extra spread out, expand torso as if air balloon inside being filled. Effective for making girls notice you.

Exercise for learning alpha BL: Close your eyes and conjure mental picture of you being leader and protector of your tribe. Notice the BL details and how powerful and dominant you look. In your mind, climb into the picture and walk over to the alpha you. Step inside and become the alpha you with your BL. Notice how it feels. Find out what color do you associate with this feeling, and where in your body this feeling comes from. See how the feeling/color flows out from this place and fill every part of your body from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. Make the feeling intense and the color bright all over your body. Imagine a volume button in the spot where the feeling comes from. Paint it in the same color and notice what it looks like. Imagine it slowly turning the feeling up to double intensity. Then gradually all the way up to 10 times as intense. From now on, turning this dial will boost your alpha vibe no matter what, so no need to think about the details.

Post Coital - extra emphasis on being relaxed and comfy. Extremely laid back and 'chill'. Slightly narrow eyes and some sleepy stretching. Totally unworried and distant, not caring about surroundings. Effective for making girls curious about you. Practice: Imagine having had crazy sex all night and now totally exhausted. Step into this image like described above.

Horny - unlike other two, strongly aware of girl (facing and looking at her). Very relaxed face with low eye lids and open mouth. Heavy breathing, lick/bite lips, let eyes wander down to girl's body. Effective for turning girls on. Practice: think of something that makes you horny and notice how it affects your BL. Intensify feeling. Intensify BL. (credit GunWitch)

Note on learning all this:

Only way to improve BL-habit is daily practice. Create a daily ritual where you first practice BL and then go into each of the 3 seductive attitudes. Do it together with something you already do every day (brushing teeth, walking to office etc..), so you never forget to practice. Make a small list of the things you want to practice, and keep it in bathroom. Also, whenever you catch yourself having bad BL (hunched, tense, hurried etc..), correct it at once.

Appendix B - Appreciate

Appreciation is to hold something in your mind with gratitude. When doing this, bad feelings are shut down and good feelings are strengthened. When a person is in this mental mode, its easy for others to see - its as if the bliss/happiness is bleeding out from every pore. Those feelings are contagious, so others will start to feel good too, even if they don't know why the person is happy. This creates a feeling of friendship and GOOD INTENTIONS. This is why appreciation is the ideal mental frame to be in when meeting new people (and socializing in general).

When focusing on things you dont have, you open your mind to the feeling of need (wanting something). This is the opposite of appreciation and leads to feelings like frustration, insecurity, sadness, discontent and so on. This is also easy for others to see, and it makes others insecure and uneasy about you. They can see you want something. They DOUBT your good intentions. This is why need is the WORST POSSIBLE frame for meeting people.

Needy people suffer from habits of seeking validation from others. Two things must be done to end this habit. The first is to focus your mind on appreciation - stop dwelling on all the stuff you want, and learn to appreciate areas that already satisfy you. Practice this every day. I recommend you do this during a daily routine like teeth brushing. Go through all the things that are going well and take moments to really feel the gratitude for each one.

Secondly, focus on appreciation when you socialize. Look actively for positive qualities in others, and let them know you noticed. Also look for positive things about surroundings or situation and talk warmly about them. Also talk about good experiences you have had lately, emphasizing how good it made you feel. Discipline yourself to steer all conversations down this path. In no time, this will transform you from a needy guy, to the type of guy everyone love to hang with.

A note on BL: Neediness (validation seeking) materializes itself as a large 'awareness radius' (how far away from yourself, you are aware of whats going on). To avoid sending out this bad vibe, try this little mind trick: Imagine a sphere around you. Everything outside the sphere doesn't exist. Then make the sphere as small as possible.

Appendix C - lines you can use or draw inspiration from


  • "Wow you look happy!" (credit Rageking)
  • "Aww so nice hair - is it real?" (pull hair) "HEY.. it moved!" (credit Style & Mystery)
  • "Aww what a nice fabric/material!" (grab/touch ha piece of her clothes – credit brooklyn)
  • "Wow.. I can see you work out.. now and then.."
  • "Wow, you look incredible today - did you take a shower?" (credit Viberateher)
  • Bump her so almost falls, then "Are you drunk?" (credit dahunter)
  • "My invisible friend just told me to talk to you!"
  • "Aww... you are soooo cute! I want to adopt you!" (credit Papa)
  • "Aww you are soo cute.. but we could never be a couple - we are too much the same.. we would fight and throw things and have incredible make up sex all over the place and fight more then sex fight sex fight.. too much drama and intense feelings!" (credit TylerDurden)
  • "Shit! A poisonous snake bit me in the testicles - you got to help me suck out the poison - now!"


  • "Bad girl!"
  • "Naughty girl!"
  • "You are trouble! I shouldn't be talking to you!"
  • "There is something mystical about you!"
  • "You look like you are hiding something!"
  • "I can't trust you!"
  • "Aww you look just like.. a little angel/princess!"

Dodge questions:

  • "Guess!" (credit TylerDurden)
  • "I'm an unemployed loser - I live with my mom."
  • "I'm an angel - one more good deed and I'll get my wings!" (credit TylerDurden)
  • "I'm a traveling underwear inspector!" (credit TylerDurden)
  • "I'm a freelance gynecologist - how long is it since your last check?" (credit TylerDurden)
  • "I'm an orgasmologist!" (credit TylerDurden)
  • "I'm 16 - 16 and unkissed!"
  • "You are.. 60! Hehe just kidding! Hey I was only kidding! You are.. 16 - sweet 16! 17 18 19! I refuse to believe you are older than 19!"


  • "I lost my teddy (puppy dog face).. would you sleep with me?"
  • "Aww I love you.. like a sister!"
  • "Won't you get too aroused if I sit this close?" (credit Nathan Szilard)
  • "I'm hard - are you wet?"
  • "My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling!"
  • "Aww.. you are so cute.. but we could never be a couple.. my mom would never approve!"
  • "My mom told me to stay away from bad girls!"
  • "I should have listened to my mom!" (Later in sarge)
  • "WTF!? I got no friends! Aha.. it must be my mom!" (Cell phone rings)
  • "I got phone phobia - is it ok if I make my mom call you?" (During close)
  • "I dont know need to ask my mom." (credit Nightblue)
  • "My mom told me to be home before ten." (credit Nightblue)
  • "I can't help it. My mother raised me too well." (if she says you are too nice) (credit Style)
  • "I'm soooo lonely (puppy) I got no friends and nobody wants me! Tonight I'll go to bed all alone and cry silently until I fall asleep."
  • "I'm no good! I cheat, lie and dump girls on valentine's day."
  • "I'm no good for you - he is cute - he suits you - you look cute together!"
  • "Yeah I'm such a looser - you should get with this guy - look how cute he is, and he really likes you!"
  • "My penis is extremely small!"
  • "I'm a virgin!"
  • "Girls are so scary!"
  • "Im shy."
  • "This is why nobody wants me.. big tummy" (putting belly out and tapping it) "and tiny dick" (indicate 1 inch w/fingers + sad puppy face)
  • "I collect trash - I'm a trash man! Trash is MY LIFE! I plan a big career in trash!"
  • "As always, I'm out looking for my future wife. I have NO IDEA why its so hard to find her - I only have 2 tiny requirements! I'm a modest man - I don't ask for much! A perfect body.. and she must be VIRGIN. My dick is so small! I don't want her to have anything to compare me with. It would make me so insecure! I want to be her first and only lover! She must not have a dildo either. I'm afraid the dildo would come between us!"
  • Get up, stretch, look around and say "I got to go" … "to the toilet" with a wicked grin.
  • "Are you rich? Aww I need a rich GF who can support me while I start a boy band - The Whatever Boys! But hey - I need groupies too! But you don't look like groupie material - she can be my groupie and you can be my manager! Yeah!" (credit TylerDurden)

Appendix D - Some sex advice

  • Don't undress girls. Start sexing instead (rubbing and dry-humping).
  • Rub slowly towards pussy but make a turn so you barely miss it.
  • When rubbing pussy, just graze it.
  • When licking pussy, don't dive in. Home in slowly. Lick inner thighs a lot, barely touching pussy when you change side. Take time licking areas *close* to the pussy before licking IT.
  • When time to put it in, don't! Rub clit with head of cock and put only head inside. Go back and forth between rubbing and putting only head inside.
  • When fucking, start *very* slow and focus on getting maximum range of motion with every thrust. Accelerate much slower than she wants to.

Source: Seducing girls

Monday, November 13, 2006

10 Things to Talk About on a First Date

What if You Always Knew Exactly What to Say on a Date?

Keys to First Date Conversation

For most men finding something to SAY at all to a female is one of the toughest "tasks" they face as a collective. The downside to hitting on a female is "striking out".

The upside to hitting on a female is that you only have to talk for a minute or so. Your personality and creativity and charm are all jam packed into a quick jolt of infatuated excitement. When you finally take the plunge and take that same female out on a first date you have to make all of the charm and excitement last.

Don't forget YOU asked HER out so the ball is really in your court to keep her entertained and prove to her you're not a one-minute-one-hit-wonder.

"How much money do you make"? That is one of the many things you DON'T talk about on a date. Your income, penis size or ex-girlfriends is absolutely off the list of things to talk about on a date. You should know better by now anyway because you are a man not a boy. If you are a you're a young guy reading this then you wanting to be a man is what brought you (like many others) to Seduction Insider to begin with: To share the wisdom of love, sex, and dating… yes even dating.

First dates have many do's and don'ts - but nothing comes without trying.

Here are some tips for the "first round":

1. Questions, Questions, Questions!

In sales, one of the lessons they teach you is to follow everything you says with a "question". Even if she asks you a question, you answer and follow it with a question. The more she talks the more questions you will ask.

2. Viva La Familia

Nothing is closer to the heart than family. Is she from a big family? Does she want a family? Was she abandoned by her family? This is revealing stuff for future reference. Do you want kids? Do you want marriage? She needs to know things too you know.

3. Now That's Funny!

Are you comedic, sardonic, sarcastic or otherwise the class clown? If so you are in like Flynn because the only time a woman does not want to talk is when she is laughing. If you two are laughing all night she will leave knowing this much: She had a great time.

4. Testing Testing

Some guys like smart chicks. The best way to find out is talk about something ultra intelligent and see how many questions she asks or how much she knows on the subject. Start with science and work down the ladder to art. Ask questions that test common knowledge not academics (later).

5. Me, Myself & I

Talk about yourself. Talk about what you like and dislike and maybe you will find out sooner than later that you two are a match or maybe you are not. Some girls would rather listen than talk and some guys would rather talk than listen - perfect.

6. Good Taste

The food you are eating or the clothes she is wearing are great subject matter. Do you have something to offer in the way of fashion or cuisine? Show off because girls like those subjects and are impressed by comprehension of them.

7. Testing II

People with a formal education love to talk about where they went to school and what they studied because it took up a big chunk of their life and some stay very close to their alma matter by attending games and school functions such as fund raisers. This is boring stuff to me but whatever.

8. Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Current events such as the war in Iraq are hot topics for anyone with the slightest political vane. Talk about what is going on locally or nationally that affects you personally then that will show you if there is any stimulus being invested from her.

9. All work and no play…

The workplace or our careers consume a great deal of time for each of us so it is not a stretch to talk about what we do for a living and how we are affected by it. Stay away from badmouthing employees or bosses because that sounds bitter and you don't that.

10. Sex, Sex and more Sex

Okay you knew it was coming, did you think I was giving that one up so easily? Sex is what every guy wants to talk about that is why we want you to read the other 9 first. Stay away from this subject unless you got nothing left or she goes there first. If not you look like every other guy who wants to have sex with her. Be original.

Being original or creative or funny or narcissistic are all ways to start a conversation on the first date but remember it is a "conversation" and so your efforts MUST include her. The first tip on questions is the most important (yes even over humor or sex) because you can't understand how she works if you don't know anything about her.

No matter how it is going, you should always try to answer every question or finish every story with a QUESTION about her or her past or her future. Keep this rule of thumb handy, "If it is important to her, it is important me".

Woman LOVE to talk about themselves. Women LOVE to talk about themselves.

See now I have told you that 3 times - so the key to talking to girls on a date is: Let her do ALL the talking.

Note to Self:

Yes, yes, yes you want her to do most of the talking - this often reveals her interest level. However, make sure that you do not seem like a dead doorknob. When you do speak, speak with energy, and tempered enthusiasm... Meaning, don't exlode with enthusiasm, but do put life and character into what you have to say... and then remember to shut up, and don't go on and on about a subject. If asked a question, give some information, and then smoothly point the conversation back in her direction and get her talking again.

Related articles