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Monday, November 13, 2006

10 Things to Talk About on a First Date

What if You Always Knew Exactly What to Say on a Date?

Keys to First Date Conversation

For most men finding something to SAY at all to a female is one of the toughest "tasks" they face as a collective. The downside to hitting on a female is "striking out".

The upside to hitting on a female is that you only have to talk for a minute or so. Your personality and creativity and charm are all jam packed into a quick jolt of infatuated excitement. When you finally take the plunge and take that same female out on a first date you have to make all of the charm and excitement last.

Don't forget YOU asked HER out so the ball is really in your court to keep her entertained and prove to her you're not a one-minute-one-hit-wonder.

"How much money do you make"? That is one of the many things you DON'T talk about on a date. Your income, penis size or ex-girlfriends is absolutely off the list of things to talk about on a date. You should know better by now anyway because you are a man not a boy. If you are a you're a young guy reading this then you wanting to be a man is what brought you (like many others) to Seduction Insider to begin with: To share the wisdom of love, sex, and dating… yes even dating.

First dates have many do's and don'ts - but nothing comes without trying.

Here are some tips for the "first round":

1. Questions, Questions, Questions!

In sales, one of the lessons they teach you is to follow everything you says with a "question". Even if she asks you a question, you answer and follow it with a question. The more she talks the more questions you will ask.

2. Viva La Familia

Nothing is closer to the heart than family. Is she from a big family? Does she want a family? Was she abandoned by her family? This is revealing stuff for future reference. Do you want kids? Do you want marriage? She needs to know things too you know.

3. Now That's Funny!

Are you comedic, sardonic, sarcastic or otherwise the class clown? If so you are in like Flynn because the only time a woman does not want to talk is when she is laughing. If you two are laughing all night she will leave knowing this much: She had a great time.

4. Testing Testing

Some guys like smart chicks. The best way to find out is talk about something ultra intelligent and see how many questions she asks or how much she knows on the subject. Start with science and work down the ladder to art. Ask questions that test common knowledge not academics (later).

5. Me, Myself & I

Talk about yourself. Talk about what you like and dislike and maybe you will find out sooner than later that you two are a match or maybe you are not. Some girls would rather listen than talk and some guys would rather talk than listen - perfect.

6. Good Taste

The food you are eating or the clothes she is wearing are great subject matter. Do you have something to offer in the way of fashion or cuisine? Show off because girls like those subjects and are impressed by comprehension of them.

7. Testing II

People with a formal education love to talk about where they went to school and what they studied because it took up a big chunk of their life and some stay very close to their alma matter by attending games and school functions such as fund raisers. This is boring stuff to me but whatever.

8. Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Current events such as the war in Iraq are hot topics for anyone with the slightest political vane. Talk about what is going on locally or nationally that affects you personally then that will show you if there is any stimulus being invested from her.

9. All work and no play…

The workplace or our careers consume a great deal of time for each of us so it is not a stretch to talk about what we do for a living and how we are affected by it. Stay away from badmouthing employees or bosses because that sounds bitter and you don't that.

10. Sex, Sex and more Sex

Okay you knew it was coming, did you think I was giving that one up so easily? Sex is what every guy wants to talk about that is why we want you to read the other 9 first. Stay away from this subject unless you got nothing left or she goes there first. If not you look like every other guy who wants to have sex with her. Be original.

Being original or creative or funny or narcissistic are all ways to start a conversation on the first date but remember it is a "conversation" and so your efforts MUST include her. The first tip on questions is the most important (yes even over humor or sex) because you can't understand how she works if you don't know anything about her.

No matter how it is going, you should always try to answer every question or finish every story with a QUESTION about her or her past or her future. Keep this rule of thumb handy, "If it is important to her, it is important me".

Woman LOVE to talk about themselves. Women LOVE to talk about themselves.

See now I have told you that 3 times - so the key to talking to girls on a date is: Let her do ALL the talking.

Note to Self:

Yes, yes, yes you want her to do most of the talking - this often reveals her interest level. However, make sure that you do not seem like a dead doorknob. When you do speak, speak with energy, and tempered enthusiasm... Meaning, don't exlode with enthusiasm, but do put life and character into what you have to say... and then remember to shut up, and don't go on and on about a subject. If asked a question, give some information, and then smoothly point the conversation back in her direction and get her talking again.

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30 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't normally comment on weblogs or articles but I feel compelled to respond having read this guff.

It is awful. I had hoped that such dating techniques were left back where they belong, like on board the Titanic.

Perhaps consider re-titling to '10 Things To Bore The Panties Off Her... Not In A Good Way'

Can I ask that any guy looking for advice on how to behave on a first date does not act upon the teachings of this article.

Queer Princetonian said...

This article is extremely heterosexist. Straight dates aren't the only types of "first dates" you know... Not ALL men and ALL women are the same way on dates, as seems to be generalized in the article. Advocating letting a woman do all the talking and the man incessantly asking questions is, in my opinion, a sad dynamic for heterosexual dating. What about queer dating? What about girly guys and manly girls and everyone in between and beyond? Very few people could actually benefit from this article's dating advice.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, these are sort of the opposite of good ideas. Talking about Iraq on a first date? Quiz her on science knowledge?

Anonymous said...

This is the worst article that I've ever read... for example, let the girl do all the talking? what?... and all women like to talk about fashion and themselves?... um, I so don't think so...

Anonymous said...

you commenters suck. try making a better article.

Clayton said...

Good article. ya, its heterosexual. queers and lesbians google this same article with gay thrown in the mix. Women do love to talk, so let them do the talking, just take pointers to guide the conversation so you don't get stuck on dolce and gabbana for an hour and start pondering poking your eyes out with a dinner fork. As stated by another, try writing a better article. I do agree though, don't talk about Iraq and dont quiz her on science. Ask her what she likes, what she took in school-did good in.

Anonymous said...

I have to say... this article is the worst ever, but have to let you know one thing... If a guy asks me on the first date if I want to have kids or get married he would sound too desperated for me and I would most likely loose interest... don't follow those advises guys... If you are looking for a good/smart/cute/funny girl, all you have to do is relax and try to be witty/funny... Believe me, no girl can resist a guy that makes her laugh and has a witty response to every joke she makes... Good luck...

P.S. I think a girl would have a better chance at writting an article for guys...

Anonymous said...

FUCK queers and what they do on their dates, they probably end up in their room having sick anal love. then end

Anonymous said...

Seriously this article us ridiculous and whoever wrote it probably hasnt had much luck dating. The only advice I would give a guy is relax and make her laugh. Like another comment said, no girl can resist a guy that makes her laugh. You could have no game whatsoever and a good sense of humor would give you so much charm.

Ps: You ignorant homophobes need to get out of that box you've so methodically placed yourselves in and stop being crude. Youre just mad because they are more of a man/woman then you will ever be or get. :)

Iy said...

I like the article but I still think it is over emphasized. The lady should do most of the talking but when the guy talks, it should be enthusiastic and funny.The guys should listen attentively to details and later use these information in later discussions. This is a double +. I think an ideal ratio of talk should be 2:3 from guys:ladies.

Anonymous said...

Haha, I usually don't comment on this kind of stuff either, but thanks to this article, I discovered something very important: I'M NOT A GIRL!

Jeez, I spent so many years thinking I was, but now that I know that women like to talk about themselves and fashion and stuff, I guess I'm not meeting the criteria anymore!

Oh well, thanks to the queer person I at least have some pointers on where to start looking next...

Anonymous said...

I agree this article limits itself to a certain range of heterosexual people. What about homosexual relationships, what about if I want to date a woman who's 30 years my senior, what about if I want to go out with someone (something) from another species? what if I'm so narcissistic that I only want to go out with myself? I think I got the hang of asking questions based on this article!!

Anonymous said...

What about deaf people dating for the first time? what about dwarfs? Or better yet, what about someone dating Lady Ga Ga or Charlie Sheen? What would you make the conversation interesting for them? Would you ask Lady Ga Ga to sing for you? Would you ask Charlie Sheen about the torpedo of something... Are those unappropritate questions? Am I going crazy?
I'm heterosexual and found this article interesting.

Anonymous said...

this article is biased against people with food allergies. that is like one of the top 10 things i talk about, because i can't eat peanuts and it's pretty tough to deal with, but it's not even on your radar because you live in a nonallergenist box. also, pets. do you have a problem with people who like to talk about pets?

if people took your advice then you could have a date with a person who had a cat and a person with a deadly cat allergy then they might die from the cat hair on their sweater but they wouldn't ask about it and then the person would die because of YOUR FAULT for not taking your limited world view into account. and what if they both watch nascar?? they would never know how much they love each other because i guess your to good for that. this top 10 is FUCKED

Anonymous said...

Everyone says you have to be and funny ,you have to make your date laugh and keep the conversation interesting, but how I am supposed to do that.Why does no one make a how-to on that for the less funny and interesting people out there.

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Anonymous said...

wtf!!
iz the worst article i've ever read...
From these words i can guess how's d girlfriend of the publisher...

Anonymous said...

It is everything you shouldn't do on a first date. Who wrote this?

Anonymous said...

pretty sure everyone but a few responding are gay men.

Anonymous said...

Ask her if she wants kids/marriage? Ya, that will get her to run off quick. Some of these aren't even things to talk bout. Make her laugh? Also, asking if her family abandoned her? You either married the first girl that would consider you, you are a girl, or you are a virgin. Nobody follow these directions!!!!

Anonymous said...

Enough with the fagotry, this article is for straight people, go read and post somewhere else.

My advice:

Don't ask about politics, science, and religion on a first date. Disagreement could put unnecessary strain on your still tenuous relationship.

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Anonymous said...

Yup couldn't agree more. Your better off doing a fun activity so you can both have a laugh. Paintballing, arcade, laser tag, tenpin....anything but sitting down having food and cinema and just talking. Sure if your really good at keeping people entertained by talking sure....but for the average person do an activity. Anything that you can have a laugh doing. the key for success is laughter and the guy being confident, and if you've got the bonus of looks then your in. the fact she's already there shows there was some interest.

Anonymous said...

This is a really bad article. I'm a woman and I'd rather have an actual conversation with a guy than just him asking me questions about science and Iraq. I don't know anything about fashion designers and frankly, it would make me think a guy was gay if he came in talking about his new Gucci shoes.

Anonymous said...

I think the article is great and can be of help to a dating novice. I would like to see the article of 'em guys that criticizes.

Anonymous said...

As a woman this article sounds absolutely ridiculous. If a guy were to ask me about marriage and children on a first date I would probably lose all interest. How would you like it if a girl was asking about commitment and marriage and the future and "what names have you picked out for your hypothetical future children, cuz I've got 12 already picked out!" Also "quizzing" her on science and what not, how about you just ask what she's interested. I get that dating can be hard but really people use some common sense and ask yourself "how would I react if someone did/said this on the first date?"

Anonymous said...

Aww Guys! I just read all of the comments and man, that was a lil' harsh wasn't it? You were all ganging up on the writer who's actually trying to give you guys some advice! Take it or leave it, but DON'T post such crude comments! Gosh, talk about offensive! I am actually a girl, and I think this is great advice! OK, maybe some of it is a little odd..like the whole "ask her about Irag" but if she seems like the type of girl who likes the news then she'd probably be interested! :] x x x

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