“There’s a reason why they call it a job” –actress Kim Cattrall of Sex and the City on a recent Dr. Phil Show when asked about blowjobs.
So recently I was chillin on the couch on a Sunday evening, mindlessly flipping channels, and suddenly, there to brighten my early evening was the gorgeous actress Kim Cattrall on Dr. Phil. Apparently she was acting as a sort of sidekick on a show about the common sexual challenges couples are faced with (she’s just brought out a book called “Sexual Intelligence” which I’m sure we’ll be reviewing soon). You know the complaints, no time for sex, no interest in sex, and the one that really caught my attention – a man wondering how in the heck to get his girlfriend to give him more blowjobs.
Ah, now that’s an important question.
See, the problem is that the girlfriend thinks all oral sex is disgusting (even when she’s on the receiving end – yes, Ms. Cattrall was as amazed as I was). But in the beginning of the relationship, when they were first dating, she participated in both giving blowjobs and receiving cunninlingus as if she enjoyed it. As Dr. Phil so aptly put it, “she pulled a bait n’ switch.”
Just in case I need to spell it out for you, that’s a woman who pretends to enjoy sex (rather than truly get in touch with what she wants and needs to enjoy herself with you sexually) in the beginning of the relationship in order to move you toward commitment.
Blowjob Bait n` Switch
I waited eagerly for the good doctor’s advice, but Dr. Phil really didn’t have great solutions for how to solve this most serious of challenges (at least for men). He pointed out that you can’t really force your woman to give you blowjobs, which is true (unless you want to go to jail), and how good important communication is, but when the lovely Cattrall tried to move things into a practical how-to-get-things-started kind of way it was on to another couple and another challenge.
So since Dr. Phil wasn’t ready to answer the question on national T.V. I’m ready to step in to fill the gap – I’m just bummed I don’t get the sexy Cattrall as my sidekick.
But before we get into how to get more blowjobs, more oral sex, we need to get clear about why girls don’t want to go south in the first place:
Why Many Women Don`t Enjoy Blowjobs
- You’re Selfish and Don’t Reciprocate
- You Smell Funky
- Your Pubic Hair is Out of Control and Constantly Gets in Her Mouth
- It Takes Forever to Get You Off
- You Insist She Swallow and She Hates How You Taste
- And last but not least... She Never Enjoyed It But She Pretended to in the Beginning to Get You to Commit
As you can see, the top five reasons women avoid giving blowjobs are fairly simple things to fix. If you’re selfish you need to get over yourself because sooner or later it’s not only blowjobs you won’t be getting anymore. And it’s easy enough to take a shower or a soak before getting naked, and trimming your forest of pubic hair if it’s out of control, and if it comes down to choosing between no blowjobs vs. simply no swallowing where’s the contest really?
I have heard, however, that drinking more sweet fruit juice, like papaya, can greatly help the taste of your output.
But what the heck do you do about the fact that it takes such long time for you to reach an orgasm during a blowjob that she’s plain worn out?
Let’s face it; we love getting blowjobs because of the mental and visual stimulation more than the physical. Unless we’re still in adolescence (or virgins who don’t masturbate), the stimulation of a woman’s mouth just can’t match that of your own knowledgeable hand or the fabulous pussy. That can mean a woman has to work really hard, for quite a long time in order to take you over the edge. Sooner or later she may decide that the benefits you give in return for her getting a sore tired jaw and a stiff neck just aren’t worth it.
"Free Blowjobs - That`s What Wives Are For"
Several years ago I found an old Playboy of my Father’s when I was helping clean out my parent’s garage. Flipping through it I found an article by the porn star Nina Hartley who admitted she never refused her husband blowjobs – as long as they only lasted five minutes.
Now I don’t know if most women would be quite as generous about giving a blowjob whenever their man felt like one, but I know there are all kinds of women out there who would be far more generous with the mouth action if the act could be brought to fruition quickly. But how do you make it happen? How do you shorten the amount of time it takes?
You cheat. That’s right. You bring in assistance. Whether you get things started yourself, or she uses her hands as well, or toys, or whatever your combined imaginations can come up with (and I think you can get pretty creatively crazy if you both put your minds to it). The key is to get out of the mindset that she’s got to use her mouth from start to finish in order for them to be real blowjobs and instead get into the mindset that the easier you make it for her, the more frequently you’re going to feel her lips around your Johnson.
But now we’ve got to tackle the problem of women who say that going down on a man just isn’t for them. This is where good communication really does come in. You need to find out why she’s not into it. If you’re gal’s refusing because she thinks it’s degrading or perverted it’s better to know now. Perhaps she equates women giving blwojobs to being subservient, in which case you can talk through it and find out if there are ways to work it so she doesn’t feel this way. If she thinks it’s perverted it’s a bigger challenge, but again a good honest talk, where you’re willing to listen rather than demand can do much to move you in the right direction.
And what about if she’s pulled a “bate n’ switch” with the blowjobs she`s given you? Check out next week`s article -- we`ve got some simple seduction techniques you can use to get those blowjobs coming your way again.