Men make lots of mistakes when dating but as it is not an exact science then that's hardly surprising. What works with one girl, doesn't work with another and of course every situation is different. Having said that there are some common flourishes that men constantly make that doom them to a Titanic-like lifestyle of dating disasters.
Overall, much of what men get wrong are in the basic assumptions as to what they think women are thinking. Pre-guessing or second-guessing a woman is akin to gambling your entire life in Roulette number 27. You are highly likely to lose my friend. So what mistakes have you been making?
- Numero uno, arrogance. Oh yes, you know who you are you arrogant fools. Bragging and boasting about your exploits, achievements, successes, popularity and possessions only makes a woman think you are a fool. How do you know she isn't more talented than you, she probably is.
- Being flash with your cash. She is probably more career-orientated and successful than you and would be the major breadwinner if you got together so do no assume you are Mr. Rich unless you truly are. And if you are, a woman loves understated class and style, not a man who insists she drinks Crystal champagne by the bucketload and drives with him in a Ferrari to the supermarket. Ironically, being flash means you are more likely to remain single. You can sleep with your money instead.
- Telling her you understand women. You don't and you won't and probably never will. So trying to emphathize should be terated with caution. She wants a man not another gay best-friend.
- Getting your humor wrong. You may think you are due a season at the Luxor in Vegas but being a one man entertainer is somewhat subjective. Your audience may not be on the same wavelength (yet) and may not think you are as funny as you think you are. If you truly are so funny, take her to an open-mike comedy store and impress the entire audience and hope it rubs off on her.
- Not listening to her. Conversation is a two-way process, not a CB radio with your finger permanently on the Speak button. Wise up and start listening to what she is telling you, because she may well be telling you the path to her heart. If you are talking, you are not listening!
- Assuming you are so attractive. By all means love yourself before anyone else does, but vanity in men stinks. Good looking does not mean being sexy or attractive. If you are popular with the girls, let her work that out for herself.
- Talking about ex's and in particular about old girlfriends in a bad way. One day she may be your ex and she doesn't want a preview of how you may talk about her to her replacement.
- Revealing too much too soon. Do not open yourself up like an open book. Where is the mystery in that. She wants to not know what you're thinking but she wants to guess. She wants the challenge of finding out and making you hers, not being handed everything on a plate so that she knows every last detail about you. So keep quiet.
- Looking at other women when you are with her. There is seriously nothing more unattractive than a man who checks out the competition whilst she is sitting opposite. Leave your glances at other girls until when she is well out of sight and not before.
- Making comments about her in public may be funny and amusing and meant as a joke but she wants to feel adored and does not appreciate jokes about her ass, however accurate an observational comedian you are. Treat her like a princess and ensure she is walking on air when you drop her off.
- Men are often far more boring than they think. If you let her do the talking then be witty and interesting in reply to keep her interest. Introducing her to plane spotting and your love of all things mechanical will make her eyes glaze over. Start becoming interesting right now.
- Far too few men retain their enigma and are more available than they should be. A woman should want to get to know you but should work for it.
- Lacking commitment and ambition are common mistakes that you give away all too easily. You may not want to be the next President but she wants to know she has made a major catch in you. At least you should have potential. I am not suggesting you lie, but I am suggesting you think about why she should think you are so special and work on it.
- Listen guys, stop talking about sex. It comes across as if you are desperate. Trying to get her in the sack as if it was a WWF challenge won't work either. For women sex is subtle and comes in many forms and guises so start learning about what she wants and try and detach yourself from your balls.
- If she encourages you to talk about sex, do anything you can to avoid it. You must retain your enigma and be a challenge for her or you will fail.
- The woman of your dreams is a free spirit and deserves to be treated as such, and not as your possession. She doesn't owe you anything so the merest hint of possessiveness and she is gone. Stop being so dumb when it comes to self-confidence. If she loves you, she will stay, if you don't deserve it, she will leave. Simple.
- Oh and by the way, you can be all these things and be nice too so get the check.
by Ian McNeice