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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

First Date Etiquette

Good Manners On The First Date

Let's assume for a second that all of you DON'T have a mother. That way when you act unscrupulously with your manners in front of ANY FEMALE we would have something legitimate to blame it on. Assuming you DO have a mother then you will be addressed with the same standards of male etiquette and courtesies that one's mother would come to expect from her son.

All the females in your life, you mother, your sister, your girlfriend your secretary, your boss should all be receiving the same standards of male etiquette. This applies to manners on a date as well as with female friends and family.

Make Her Laugh And Make Her Feel Safe

The reason I would possibly bring up your mother on Seduction Insider is even your mother would approve of us teaching you what most likely fell on deaf ears in your home growing up under her wing. If you read any of my columns here then you would know I teach two things about seducing a female; make her laugh and "make her feel safe".

Making a female feel safe comes in many different forms and your behavior and etiquette will suggest a lot about your character and if she will "feel safe" with you. So the basic fundamentals that will apply here are: If it is good enough for mom then it is good enough for all females. The basics are always the best place to start with etiquette and manners.

So PLEASE pay attention to the next sentence, THANK YOU. Did you catch that? I asked you to do something by saying please first and whether you do it or not I followed that with thank you. Your manners on a date will require this more than you imagine. If you are on a first date and you are not using the basic please and thank you courtesies to the server then she knows what NOT to expect from your relationship - courtesy.

Please & thank you is the most basic of courtesies and the most obvious when they are missing so don't miss it even once in the presence of a female regarding a request or fulfillment.

The next item on mom's checklist is "walk the walk". Be a man! Do you know where you are supposed to walk on the street with your date or any other female?

Walk On The Outside - The Sreetside!

Yes, if you are walking down the street with ANY female YOU are supposed to walk on the outside of the street. This is such an important etiquette among females and they will notice it for sure.

Good girls are old fashioned and they notice instantly when a boy is being well mannered/old fashioned with his manners on a date. When you walk her to the car stand in front of her a bit so she knows YOU are going to open the door. If she begins to reach for the handle - either grasp the handle first or simply reach gently for her hand and say, "I will get that".

When you drive up to a location with your "date" or your mother (no one else applies) look to see if she is hesitating before she exits the vehicle - she might be suggesting you walk around the other side to get her door. If any woman in your car is 60 or over you will get the door for her regardless of whether she is your mother or your date.

Walk on the outside, open the car (any) doors, please & thank you; these are the starters or appetizers to your manners on date.

If you are not with your mother and you are on a date then the next thing you should watch for is YOUR MOUTH. On the date make sure you NEVER chew with your mouth OPEN, rinse after chewing with water if you're eating salad to dislodge any green leaves that might be stuck in there.

Never talk with your mouth FULL. Cover your mouth when you cough & turn your head from the table. If you get a bone or piece of fat that you can not chew - simply take it out and place it on a bev-nap or the corner of the plate - that is the ONLY time you will put your fingers in your mouth the entire time you are at the table.

This means no teeth picking even with a toothpick. After you are done eating simply excuse yourself to the men's room - there you will check your nose and teeth for foreign objects that need to be removed.

Keeping your "space" is also an essential mannerism to making her feel safe. This means only touch her when necessary until you are certain she wants you to touch her. Don't wear too much cologne or after shave (yuk) because your smell can invade her space as well.

Always make eye contact on the date and don't interrupt her when she is speaking. These are the most basic of manners on a date and normal everyday etiquette that you should exude with men and women alike.

How you "act" with your manners and courtesies will make her feel safe because showing these actions means you care about others and how you affect them. She will know that you have her best interests in mind while you are together.

These behaviors also suggest maturity - a trait that all women look for in a man - even the funny ones. The next time you walk down the street with a female or share a meal with your date - treat her as if everyone is watching you - especially your mother.

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is awesome! Great job! :)

Stormy said...

Just when we assumed that chivalry was long since buried...you resurrected it in our minds and hearts!

Well Done My Friend

Anonymous said...

DateDaily.com also wrote an article on First Date Etiquette for Men: http://datedaily.com/dating/for-him-only/15-first-date-etiquette-men/

Anonymous said...

You gotta be kidding me. This is a far cry from the 1950's. Most women will give you sex on the first or second date regardless of what you say or do. You guys worry too much. Relax.