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Monday, November 06, 2006

When Should You Be Dominant With Women

You see, some of the guys have the idea that, to really attract women, you must always be in charge, always be in control, always be in command.

Frankly, I think this is a load of hog-wash. Look: while it is true that women are attracted to strength, you also have to be flexible and know when to listen to what she is saying. If all you can be is controlling, commanding and "in charge" you are not only going to turn her off, but you are going to expend needless and wasteful amounts of mental energy, always being on guard against her daring to show any "defiance".

In reality, there are 4 basic energies or attitudes that attract women, and a master seducer (or master seducer in training) can move from one to the other or combine them. Let me sketch it out for you.

The 4 Energies/Attitudes Revealed

The first, of course is being commanding and, yes, dominant. But bear in mind, this just means the will and the ability to take the lead. It does NOT mean being domineering or abusive. It simply means taking and setting the lead, usually in a relaxed way. But it is also combined with a strong amount of generosity and consideration for others.

Tyrant Vs. Emperor

Consider this metaphor: a Tyrant and an Emperor. The Emperor and the Tyrant will both enter a room as if they expect to be obeyed and as if they are use to power with others. The Tyrant, however, cares only for himself and rules with fear. The Emperor rules from respect, but also has a tremendous generosity that he shares with those who serve him and also is open to genuine feedback. He cares for others. The Tyrant cares only for his own needs. Which one has to constantly watch his back and fears attack?

The second energy is that of being playful, funny and fun: the ability to draw out the playful side of a woman and make her feel like a little kid. A good seducer can do this at will.

The third energy is what I call demonstrating insight or being an authority in her world. NOT the authority of threats of force or the gun. But the authority of demonstrating you genuinely understand where she is coming from and where she is at, WITHOUT letting her set the lead and take you there yourself!

The final energy is simple sincerity: being able to speak your truth without apology, hesitation, or need of approval. Sincerity can be extremely persuasive and very powerful.

So, I hope you see that always being "dominant" is about as smart as always throwing a left-hook in a boxing match. You wind up being a bully. However, if you can never be dominant, you wind up being "the nice guy" which I wouldn't wish on anyone!

And, if you can only be playful, funny and fun, you wind up being her party entertainment until the guy she's making it with comes home! Then again, if you can never be playful or funny or fun, you will have a hard time breaking the ice and you will be missing a lot of the fun of being with women!

If you can ONLY be sincere then you leave out the challenge aspect of dealing with women, and women LOVE a challenge! If you can never be sincere, there is no chance of showing the true courage to speak your truth and no chance of any real emotional intimacy.

If you only demonstrate your understanding of her, you wind up being her counselor, psychologist and emotional dumping ground. If you can't demonstrate any understanding of her, she might be very unwilling to accept you lead.

So you see, the key to all of this my dear reader and student is… Balance! Balance and learn these 4 attitudes and energies and the sky's the limit with women!

by Ross Jeffries www.seduction.com

1 comment:

Kamagra said...

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