Here is a short article by Ross Jeffries. It kind of goes with the whole why do girls not go for the nice guy question. The more I think about I realize that most women are correct in their conclusions about the overly nice guy. Below is Ross’s thoughts on the idea.
I can say from personal experience that women of Russian origin are similar to Asian women in that they view niceness and acts of kindness as indicators of strength, whereas American women view niceness and acts kindness as indicators of weakness.
Here is MY answer:
Uh uh uh…depends Depends. Depends.
If it reeks of need or pressure, they don’t want it.
If it’s freely given or given from a place of abundance AND you have established authority and respect, it’s usually a-ok.
Most unappreciated “kindness” is unappreciated because:
- You didn’t establish respect/authority or get any investment from her in the interaction/transaction BEFORE the kindness.
- She’s a twist and just doesn’t trust any kindness. Ok. They are out there. Best to run away or play the villain only a VERY short while. But aware, please: if you stare into the abyss to get your cues and clues on how to respond and behave, the abyss also stares long and hard into you. And what it gazes at it molds and shapes. So don’t look long.
- It wasn’t really kindness but need or pressure.
- She’s a super-twist and not only doesn’t trust kindness, she WANTS to be punished. Run, RUN, R-U-N away.
- She doesn’t like the psychological pressure of having to live up to the ideal you think of her as; putting her on a pedestal gives her cramps, a nose bleed and a nasty migraine, so she kicks you in the face as she steps off to be human.
- You are giving her the kindness you THINK she wants or that you enjoy giving and not what the kindness she really needs. If she craves physical affection and you buy her gifts it isn’t her fault that you aren’t paying attention.
Given the right context and a reasonably ok psyche (and it isn’t that rare) most women will soak up appropriate, NON NEEDY, NON PUSHY kindness. Some are twists. Some just crave excitement and drama and dominance more than the cuddlies, wuddlies and warm fuzzies. The most confusing ones crave one over the other depending on their mood of the day or time of the month.
- Screen your woman
- Establish boundaries, self-respect/authority in her world.
- Those who require punishment or who never trust kindness need to be left behind. After some experiences (some painful ones probably) you will develop the intuition to quickly tell who’s who in this regard.
- Get a good initial read, if you can, on whether they more strongly prefer excitement, drama and being dominated to being cared for and looked after, or in what proportion they want each. I prefer a woman who is a good mix of both; if she doesn’t like excitement she’s probably a lousy fukkk. If she can’t take kindness, then I can’t open my heart to her and the sex becomes nothing more than an energy dump; fun, but numbing and draining.
Hint: Learn to read the chakra at the hara or t’an t’ien. which relates to power and will issues and you will get an idea of where they are at. And EXPECT the unexpected because with women, it IS going to happen.