How To Make Yourself The Host Of The 'Party' Everyone Wants To Be At
My sister once told me, "The best party to go to is the one you're invited to, you will always have the most fun".
In my twenties this made no sense to me of course until a couple of parties later. These parties were ones that I had crashed or junkets that I had just "tagged along" with someone else. It was not until I discovered why people go to nightclubs that it was clear to me: This was a party everyone is invited to - so find a way to make yourself the "host".
Going to a nightclub for the unseasoned partier or wannabe player is actually not as difficult as it seams. Before we get to the "dos", I have to address the many "don'ts" that are buzzkillers for females.
I have been to nightclubs from Miami to San Francisco and one thing is for sure women hate the "brat pack". The brat pack is when you show up to the club with two or more wingmen and pack up like dogs around the dance floor and stare at all the females why you point and share laughs and comments… this is a no-no.
You might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says "I can't get laid - help!" The reality is you should only be by the dance floor (or area) if you are with a girl or on your way to ask a girl something.
The next thing is don't play "dominos". This means: You ask a girl to dance, you strike out, and you go to the next one and strike out and so on. All the girls see you striking out and coming to them next and they become more apt to say 'no' also, merely to not be "the one that said yes". If you avoid the above stated moves of brat packing and dominos then you are already ahead of the game.
Rule #1 - Never more than one wingman at a nightclub if at all possible. If you have any guts or confidence at all you really don't need to go with any guy or wingman. And if you can really pull it off: Bring a girl that you are friends with who looks good and is trying to get some action herself.
There is no greater BAIT than having someone of the opposite sex giving you a walking endorsement. So, again if that is not feasible you arrive alone or with only one other guy. The reason being is you don't want to "thin the herd" for yourself… every guy you bring in is another competitor on the scene.
Secondly, most females will travel in twos but will sometimes meet other girls they know at the club and get a table. When girls travel in a pack as opposed to twos YOU have a better chance of getting one of them alone. Try to frequent places that you know offer this higher male to female ratio.
Body language is going to be the best pick up line you can use in a nightclub or anywhere else for that matter. When you find your target (target is a word I use to describe the person you will direct all your seduction efforts toward) simply smile at her. When in a dim loud nightclub setting, a smile from across the bar is very obvious you are giving HER your attention.
In a nightclub or hip lounge scene there are often tables that are "for sale" so when the place gets packed and you want to go dance the establishment holds the table for you. These tables of girls should be your number one priority. If one of them invites you to sit down then you have CLOUT at the table and in the club and this would be the party my sister says you will have the most fun at… invited.
Clout and confidence are precursors to you making a move in this venue of wannabe rock stars and porn star rejects. Show up light (alone), play it cool away from the dance floor, find a target (or two) in a group or table setting, and now…get out your wallet.
In the movie written originally by Elmore Leonard, the basic theme was simple, "Be cool". This means if you can't make it, fake it. And always remember my rule of ALWAYS SMILE. Everyone loves a happy boy. Before you go over to your target, remember this is a one strike zone and you will not get another shot at anyone at this table the rest of the night.
I said to get out your wallet and play the part because this place is a party and if you want to be the HOST you better serve it up cold and top shelf. I recommend sending her a cocktail and if her group is small then send them a round. If you send a round of drinks then you don't have to have a target. If you send a round of drinks to the ladies then I assure you one of them will pick you - outwardly.
When you send it to the group you walk over and say, "Hi, ladies - you all looked like you were having so much fun it made me smile, so enjoy a drink on me." If you send the cocktail to a single female in the group, don't walk over just look at her to see if she acknowledges it nonverbally. If the look on her face suggests INTEREST then walk over and say HELLO. See if she wants to dance - when a female goes to a club it is for atmosphere and music so even if you're a shabby dancer she will probably have fun…even if it is just laughing at you.
You won't have to buy drinks all night I assure you but when you do it on the sly like that, no other person in the nightclub saw you literally hit on her whether you struck out or not. This keeps you looking cool and anonymous at the same time.
If you have to send too many drinks and you did everything I said here… you might need a geek makeover. If you're half-way confident and half-way know how to look good, you should be able to pull this off.
If you're not there yet, now you know what to work on: Being confident and looking good. Need further help fast? We've recommended our book a thousand times and by now you should know where to find it.
Being a good pickup guy in a nightclub is not about what you say; it is about what you do and how you look doing it. The paparazzi is always watching, be cool.